Friday 30 September 2011

So many thoughts

Here I am, writing my first blog post, with no idea where it will end up.  My head is so full of thoughts, ideas, reactions to this life I lead and they sit in my mind with nowhere to go.  Now perhaps there is a place to record those thoughts - and then perhaps one day, my children might have an insight to the adult mother they would not have understood in their youth.

Right now I am thinking of an opportunity I have decided not to pursue.  The torment of choosing between a BIG career versus a relaxed mom seems to creep up on me at intermittent times.  The idea of establishing myself further in the working world is so tempting - but I know in my heart of hearts, the person I will become will be distant from the people in my life who I love so much and who mean so much to me.  Perhaps oneday I may be plagued with "What -if?"  and the speculation of what could have been, but I know one thing and that is that I can rest in His Grace and His love.  You see, I know that I am loved - and He is with me always - no matter what.  How do I know this - because I have experienced it over and over again.